40% of Lustogamous Marriages have sex only 1 x per week!! Yikes.
There is evidence that controlling relationships—especially where one or both partners exert emotional, psychological, or behavioral control—can contribute to low or no sexual activity over time.
Here’s what research and psychology say:
🔍 Key Research Insights
1. Control kills desire
- Studies show that autonomy (freedom to make choices) is a key factor in sexual desire.
- In controlling relationships, partners often feel trapped, suffocated, or resentful, which crushes the emotional space needed for attraction.
- Source: Sexual desire and relationship functioning: An exploration of associations in committed relationships (Journal of Sex Research)
2. Power imbalances reduce intimacy
- When one person dominates, the power imbalance often leads to resentment and emotional withdrawal.
- This emotional gap often translates into a drop in physical intimacy.
- Source: The Psychology of Sexual Behavior by John Bancroft
3. Coercion ≠ Connection
- Controlling behaviors like jealousy, monitoring, or dictating one’s actions erode trust, which is foundational to a healthy sex life.
- Even well-meaning control (like overprotectiveness) can result in partner disengagement.
- Source: Attachment Theory and Close Relationships by Jeffry A. Simpson & W. Steven Rholes
4. Emotional safety is sexy
- People need to feel emotionally safe and respected to fully engage sexually.
- Control undermines that safety, leading to avoidance, low desire, or sex as obligation.
- Source: Dr. Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are (highly recommended)
🧠 Anecdotal & Therapeutic Evidence
- Therapists often report that controlling dynamics are common in sexless marriages.
- Partners describe feeling like they’re “walking on eggshells,” which kills spontaneity, playfulness, and passion.
🔥 Bottom Line:
Yes—controlling relationships often lead to low/no sex. Healthy sex thrives on freedom, trust, respect, and emotional connection. Control works directly against all of those.
Well, the problem with the above findings is that Monogamy ( Lustogamy ) is a VERY controlling relationship model! This means that a majority of people claim to hate the exact same behavior they are requiring! Most people are in fact their own worst enemies, when it comes to relationships.
Just because you want to spin “controlling behaviors” as “love”, does not make it so. But in my research, it seems that the same behavior a woman will claim is controlling, will later on claim it proves her love, when the tables are turned.
For example, her BF checking her smart phone to see if she is cheating etc, is called controlling and clingy and very suffocating to her. However, this same woman will do the same to her next/new BF and claim that if he did not give her his phone password, he must not really love her.
It is my contention, between these Double standards, sexism, feminism and lustogamy, the odds one of these relationships lasts forever while being happy and full of sex (at least 3x per week), are less than 2% odds. As a matter of fact, today they only last about 17 months on average and women terminate over 2/3 of them. Which brings me to my final conclusion here: Women hate monogamy / lustogamy too but they love Control a tad bit more. Women love getting monogamous, but they hate BEING monogamous. Women love getting married, but they hate BEING married.
Are you beginning to see a trend yet? =)