In classic cinema, there are instances where female characters express the notion that monogamy entails sexual exclusivity, while considering flirting to be harmless. A notable example is the 1940 film The Philadelphia Story. In this movie, Katharine Hepburn’s character, Tracy Lord, is confronted by her father about her judgmental nature. He implies that her intolerance has contributed to his infidelity, suggesting that a lack of understanding towards harmless flirtations can strain relationships. Vogue
This scene reflects the societal attitudes of that era, where certain forms of flirtation were often deemed acceptable, provided they didn’t lead to physical infidelity. Such portrayals highlight the nuanced perspectives on monogamy and flirtation in mid-20th-century cinema.
In this clip about the 1:30 mark, you see this scene above:
classic Hollywood and even some TV shows before the year 2000 had plenty of wives who brushed off their husband’s flirting as harmless, even expected. Here’s a short list of movies and characters/scenes where flirting wasn’t treated as a threat to monogamy—especially by the woman:
🎬 1. The Seven Year Itch (1955)
- Scene: Marilyn Monroe’s character flirts shamelessly with the married man (played by Tom Ewell), and even he rationalizes that he’s not really cheating.
- Why it fits: His wife is away and never suspects him of doing anything wrong—flirting and fantasy are shown as typical, non-dangerous “male behavior.”
- Female stance: While the wife isn’t central in this scene, the cultural norm reflected in the movie is that flirting isn’t real cheating unless it’s physical.
🎬 2. Bewitched (TV Series, 1960s–70s)
- Scene: Samantha, the witch-wife, regularly watches her husband Darrin get flirted with by secretaries, clients, and women.
- Why it fits: Samantha almost always reacts with a smirk or magical hijinks, not jealousy.
- Female stance: She knows she “has” him, and flirting doesn’t threaten their relationship. Classic “I’m not worried—he’s coming home to me” attitude.
🎬 3. Barefoot in the Park (1967)
- Scene: Jane Fonda’s character (Corie) is more worried about her husband being boring than being flirtatious. She even encourages fun, playful behavior.
- Why it fits: The emotional connection matters more than occasional charm toward others.
- Female stance: Flirting is harmless, especially if it adds spark to life.
🎬 4. Annie Hall (1977)
- Scene: Diane Keaton’s character and Woody Allen’s character both casually flirt with others and talk about past lovers.
- Why it fits: There’s an openness and understanding that flirting or even past connections aren’t a threat if there’s honesty.
- Female stance: Mildly possessive but not scandalized by flirting.
🎬 5. Moonstruck (1987)
- Scene: Olympia Dukakis (the mom) knows her husband is cheating or flirting around, and she mostly rolls her eyes—her famous line:
“Why do men chase women?” - Why it fits: She isn’t shocked or devastated, just tired of the predictability of male behavior.
- Female stance: Flirting isn’t a crisis—it’s biology.
🛋️ Honorable Mentions (more sitcoms than films):
- I Love Lucy – Lucy flirts to get what she wants, and Ricky flirts too; it’s a running gag, not a marital issue.
- The Golden Girls – Blanche flirts constantly, and the others treat it as her personality, not a betrayal of monogamy if she were dating someone.
Now, flash forward almost a generation or 2 and we now see how it appears the line has drastically moved so that now flirting, desire and temptations are many times on equal footing with “real cheating”. Don’t believe, see for yourself:
In contemporary discussions, the boundaries of infidelity are often debated, with some viewing flirting or lustful thoughts as forms of cheating. Here are some modern memes and articles that explore this perspective:
Memes Highlighting the Perspective:
- Pinterest Insight: A widely shared Pinterest post asserts, “Flirting is cheating because it’s breaking a boundary within a committed relationship.” This reflects the belief that even seemingly innocent flirtations can violate relationship trust.
- iFunny Commentary: An iFunny meme emphasizes, “Flirting is cheating, linking up and hiding it from your partner is cheating, messaging other [people] behind your partner’s back is also cheating.” This underscores the viewpoint that secretive interactions can be deemed unfaithful.
Articles Discussing the Debate:
- Vogue’s Exploration: An article in Vogue titled “Is Flirting Cheating?” delves into the complexities of flirting within relationships. It suggests that the perception of flirting as infidelity depends on individual boundaries and the nature of the interactions.
- Psych Central’s Analysis: Psych Central discusses scenarios where flirting might be considered cheating, emphasizing that such judgments are contingent on the specific agreements between partners.
- Men’s Health Perspective: An article from Men’s Health examines when social media interactions, such as flirting, might cross into cheating territory, highlighting the importance of context and mutual understanding in relationships.
Social media is rampant with relationship memes about how flirting is cheating too.
The problem with moving the line to be more strict is 2-fold:
- The line is moving the wrong direction because it should be getting less strict because of the Tech boom post 2000 leading to mass communications. This has made flirting considering easier on a massive scale. So moving the line the opposite direction is somewhat a recipe for destroying the monogamy from the inside-out. It is akin to lawmakers passing an absurd new law that nobody can follow and nobody can really enforce either.
- Women today, more so than 50–100 years ago, prefer bad boys over super-duper nice guys. So, it’s very delusional for all of these women to expect the bad boys to not cheat on her or be surprised when they do. So, now imagine how delusional society must be if they expect these bad boys to not flirt either! It’s laughable.
Has society just gotten more Dumb & Delusional, maybe??
Consider this: over 86% of men would like to have Threesomes with their girlfriend or wife on a regular basis. But if they agree to be “monogamous”, that means they cannot ever do a threesome. If you are doing both, you are NOT in a monogamous relationship. You might THINK you are and tell yourself that to feel better or to make family & friends assume you are “monogamous”, but it’s only an illusion.
Now, if virtually all men want to be having threesomes, that means most men do not “really” want to be monogamous. Which also means they are either planning to cheat on you or they really are settling for a life less than they prefer.
Which means that Men technically hate monogamy, but they need to lie to most women’s faces to keep them content and happy.